Hello mannyfans. Just had a nice scary/relaxed evening infront of the computer. On the relaxed front, listened in to the notorious DJ Hexy, he played some nice jazz beats tonight as well as the usual hiphop/drum and bass.

As for the scary side, well after reading about haunted ebay dolls and looking at ghostly ebay pictures, my shit was distinctly fucked up. And then I remembered that I'd forgot to make sure the radio control gear was on charge for tommorrow morning. And that meant having to wander down into the bowels of the dark, dead, cold house, and into the garage to check. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So I brought my camera along for moral support and videoed it.

On the 3rd of May, at 12:30am, one man alone travels into the depths of a house.

This video is all that remains.

Holy crap, manny's done another blog update!

Yep finally mannyfans, you can get the 2nd part of my exclusive holiday report, although some weeks after the actual event itself.

trees	they have bark
AND LEEEEAVES!	the leprechaun tells me to burn things

So you can see there were lots of trees involved with this holiday. Truth be told, this place was so full of nubile scantily clad teenage daughters than trees were probably the only thing I could take photos of without fear of prosecution and restraining orders. They were too young for me anyway ("if the grass grows green LOLLOLS" is all very well but I have something resembling a conscience. All this is a bit optimistic anyway, since no way have I got the confidence at the moment to chat anyone up, lolita or granny).

On to the hot ponytail action I promised. I signed up for a 4x4 offroad driving activity. There was a choice between "Landrover" or mystery "Military Vehicle" option. Not wanting to mix with the upper classes on their hoity-toity game hunting snobbery, I chose the option any red-blooded male living in suburban england would. The night before that fateful day, I had dreams of tanks, APCs and humvees. The next morning I was off to the meet up point, filled with excitement and intrepidation. And then I met Paul.

If you think for a moment what a stereo typical off-road driving enthusiast would look like, I suspect Paul would fit the bill. Dressed in cream coloured jeans with a khaki shirt with dried mud on, "fresh from this morning" he said. He was a large man, in terms of both height and girth. He wasn't a poser boy, he was a man's man who lived and breathed diesel fumes. He didn't care for a finely toned stomach, he had the muscles where it counted - in his arms for wrenching a steering wheel about, and in his groin for bedding untold numbers of beautiful women. He was the kind of man who drunk engine for breakfast to go with his nuts and bolts on toast. And he would only be eating toast because he was fresh out of sheet metal. He also had The Ponytail.

Paul	Ponytail

We got into Paul's landrover, with me hopping in the back, wanting to keep The Ponytail in sight, in case it attacked me or something. I just have a irrational fear of that I guess. To say this landrover was muddy would be the same as calling an Old Firm derby "enthusiastic". It looked like a pile of dirt with a spare tyre on the back. Paul informed us that this was "fresh on this morning" too. A 10 minute trip down the road got us into an Xtreme (people who are so extreme, they can ignore things like spelling) adventure site. This place looked like someone had ripped out all the nearby greenery and created something akin to no-mans land with quad bikes. We struggled up this steep hill in the landrover and there at the top stood our steed!

Massive	Masculine

It was a 4 ton old Bedford army truck. When it was my turn, clambered up into the cab, which felt like 2 stories up. 'The most important thing to remember' stated Paul is "to keep your thumbs on the outside of the wheel, because if it kicks, it will snap your arm no problem". That certainly put me at ease. I wish I could say it was difficult to drive, skill-wise but I can't. The hardest thing was cracking the steering wheel to full lock and back, and I still have the remains of a blister on my thumb to prove it. This thing had so much torque, that you just started it up in first gear and left it there. It would crawl up a 35 degree hill, with just the engine idling over, and I never even got it above 500rpm. Going on side-slopes was a bit nervy because it felt like the whole vehicle would tip over into the mud. There was a course marked out with gates and we drove different paths through it, unfortunately avoiding the giant see-saw like device, which looked great fun.So after about 15 minutes of messing around in the mud each, that was it, and we were driving home with aching arms and a tear in our eyes.

Mirror	Mud

At the end of the day, I shook hands with Paul, glad to have chalked up another experience in life's logbook. He drove off into the sun-set, in his mud-encrusted vehicle, in search of new hills to climb, new puddles to plough through, and new adventures to be had. He was a man who could never be confined to a desk job, and his on-going battle with nature (and hair-styles) would continue to the very end. And speaking of ends, this is it.

manny