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Update |
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posted by
manny
27:06:03
1:36am
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I'd really forgotton about this blog, but after some pestering, I felt I had to update it, at least before it gets deleted to make room for the new lot of blogs coming through. I havent been so active on the forums recently, more sticking to IRC and doing some web development. Also, I've set up 2 other people as mods of what was once my guest forum. Some recent developments have made me question how much longer I'm going to be involved with the whole community scene. Weebl has offered me the chance to do another guest episode, which I'll consider :). In fact I was working on a weebl community site until problems with hosting and databases put me off track a bit.
I want to thank everyone for their comments to my last update, it was truly uplifting to hear how much you all cared. In fact, I printed them off and stuck them to the wall in my room, so when I'm feeling that the whole world is against me, I can look up and see differently.
Currently I'm down to 50mg of meds a day (down from 225mg) and doing weekly counselling sessions. I'm no longer so suicidal but it still usually crops up in my mind once or twice each day :(. It's a bit of a struggle sometimes to get through the day but I feel I'm on track to get better, it will just take time.
I want to thank everyone whos supported me through the worst of this, in particular b_emily, colonel roberts, and merkin, all of whom have been there for when I needed someone to talk to.
Thanks
Manny |
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Title |
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posted by
manny
26:05:03
12:54am
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I'm feeling as low now as I ever have. All it took was one stupid text message to drag me down after months of working myself up. Today it hit me like a brick wall that nothing's changed, and the hope of anything changing in the future seems so bleak. I have a well of emotions building up inside me, like a tight cold ball in my stomach. With my parents moaning at MY depression affecting THEM, and the expense and pain I've caused them, thoughts of suicide arent far round the corner. It seems such a harsh clinical word, for such an emotion fuelled event. I just wanna scream at people to pay attention to me, but then feel uncomfortable when it's my turn in the spotlight. I'm just a spectator on life, forever watching but never taking part. Thanks to emmy, merkin and lee for listening to my whinings when I need someone to talk to. Think I'll go to bed now, see what tommorrow brings. |
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woah |
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posted by
manny
20:05:03
12:55am
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Phew, that guest episodes finally done.
It cost me many late nights and my right mouse button but I'm pretty pleased with the end result. Now finally I can buy GTA Vice City, and I 'spose a new mouse while I'm at it.
Also, Matrix Reloaded out this week!
manny out
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sup |
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posted by
manny
12:05:03
12:25am
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In the paper today, I noticed a picture on the front of the magazine supplement that shocked and awed me. It was a photograph of the Cheeky Girls, but something had changed. Instead of the usual anorexic circus escapee look they have, they have transformed into something vaguely and alarmingly attractive. Observe.
I was seriously stunned by this, so I went in for a closer look:
Still okay I guess, but I seemed to sense an evil twinge. So I found a magnifying glass and went in even closer....
Maggie!
So this proves that the Cheeky Girls are not indeed an annoying eastern european pop band but are in fact sinister androids which are part of a global conspiracy by Margarat Thatcher to control the world!
I suspected as much... |
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Random Link: |
Nebulus
Flash verion of fantastic C64 game |
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