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Your face...makes me a happy fellah..... |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
7:12:04
9:49pm
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"Hey, Billy. You wanna go see what that ranty guy....erm...whasisname...Zekey, is doing?"
"No, Timmy. I have grown weary of his antics and have left him in the cold dark dreariness of ignoritude where he can rot in hell."
"Oh...........wanna get ice cream?"
"Yeah sure, I need my medicine."
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Hello all. Chances are you have stumbled across this blog before you are sight-impaired, and meant to go to blind.com or something. Well, too bad! You get to listen to me instead!
So what have I been up to this past weekaroo? Much! That is the answer, much. It rhymes with crutch, and clutch, and if you are foreign it will also rhyme with butch.
First of all, I finally found the trailer to the new movie "Nocturna" which I have been weeing myself over since I first saw the images Filmax released of it. You will watch it somewhere right around here.
Dont watch the other trailers. Because the other films dont look anywhere near as good. Also, animation legend and hero, Bruno Bozzetto, has this thing out:hear. I can't wait. It looks fantastic.
But lo, I shall speak more of animation stuff lat0r. FOr I have an entertaining story to tell.
Now, in my neigborhood, we have a woman who is clearly insane. We dont know where she came from, or where she goes at night, but she is always out and about during the day. She always wears a large bright navy blue dress, way too much lipstick, and glasses. She is about 50-60 years old. She walks in the middle of the road blocking traffic, she stumbles along reading out of a Satanic book. How do I know this book is Satanic? Because I have peered inside and seen its pages for split seconds if I walk past her. Also, the fact that the bookcover is made of human skin is a dead giveaway.
She never says much unless you are standing still. If you are walking running or jogging, she leaves you alone. But if you are sitting or standing on a streetcorner she WILL come up to you. And she will ask you to do things like "pluck the feathers off the grass" and "stop milling the rice" and other such things. Then she will sit by staring expectantly as if she thinks you can actually fulfill whatever gibberish task she just assigned.
I usually ignore her and go back to whatever it is I'm doing. But its getting dangerous. She is walking the streets at night, and running in front of schoolbuses. Its not my problem. Heck, sometimes the cruel side of me almost wishes something WOULD happen.
The other day I spotted her walking her pet raccoon. Well, to say its her bet isnt being very honest. Its more like her slave. She sits on it and prods it with her knitting sticks to make it run and carry her like a horse. Very sad. So I took it upon myself to rescue this fuzzy fellow from his painstaking predicament. Cause I am a good person. -_-
So at about 1am last night, I went over to the house that I assume she lives in. In the backyard were many things. Lots of garden gnomes. Hundreds. All decapitated too. It was definitely the place. So I quietly let myself in thru the gate. And what did I find? Cages. Full of raccoons. Poor little creatures. Like bandits in prison cells. so I took out my trusty fork and picked the locks on their cages. The raccons lept out and crowded around me. They exalted me as their leader. I was their new god. And oh, how they worshipped.
It would not last long however. For in an explosion of quilts, antlers, and glass dolls, the crazy lady smashed through the wall of her house, ignoring the door. She then told me to "pick up the bitch trash before it was soggy"
She sai it very angrily, and then she leapt! WHAM! I was knocked to the ground. I tried to call the police with my game-boy then I remembered that it was a fucking game boy and you cant do that. But my new raccon friends leapt upon the crazy woman wrestling her to the ground. And they fought and bit and kicked and scratched. Alas, that there was a tank of propane right nearby. I jumped up the fence, ran along the rain gutter and leapt off the front-yard roof just as the tank exploded in a cascading mass of fire, liquid, wigs, and raccoon tails. It singed the whole back of my body. But I was alive. But I also had failed to save the raccoons.
So overall, it was a waste of a night.
Then I went over to Nim%'s house where we watched the movie "Dungeons and Dragons" which came out about 4 years ago. It has not aged gracefully. We spent most of night guffawing at how its basically a shittier version of Lord of the Rings. And the fact that Marlon Wayans character was named Snails.
Yep yep. In other news, I successfully completed my animation of a little man in a boat getting hit by a wave. It was an animation consisting of 67 individual drawings on white peices of paper. I am quite proud of it. Its soo disgustingly smooth. Everyone in my class crowded around to watch it play in Quicktime. Once I get the file on my home comp I will bring the MOV into Flash so everyone can see it.
There was something else I wantedto talk about. What was it.....?
Oh Yes! There is going to be a new Wallace and Gromit movie! Holy Wensleydale Cheese! Here is a linky le movie.
Well I think I am out of things to write. Which doenst matter as noone reads this drivel anyway. Now I am off to do something mildly uninteresting. Good day to you, SIR! |
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The Princess is in another castle. |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
30:11:04
8:58pm
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Howdy, Mr.Zekey! How are you this fine day?
Get out of my face you verminous creature.
Are you in a bad mood today?
Nope.
In fact I am happy as a clam. A slap-happy clam. Soo....since my last blog update, what things have I been doing? Hmm. I think I told you guys about the webcomic I started. It's doing pretty well. I have been working on my art as usual. OOH! Now I remembered something!
PaintShopPro version 9 is out. And my God, the art and brush tools are brilliant. The paint streaks, smear, smudges, contaminates, and spatters just like real paint would. And if you dont "clean your brush", the colors get all muddled together and lose their richness. By far the most superior brush-tool I have seen in any art program. This will be the last PainShopPro ever now that Corel (the wordperfect guys) have bought Jasc software. Methinketh the quality of programs will go downhill now. So snap up version 9 quick, because 10 could end up sucking.
Also, my friend Nimpercent made a new Flash animation. It's called Dora the Conquistador. Its very strange, sad, and deranged. Enjoy it by clicking HERE.
My good buddy, Fatbear (a.k.a. John) came down from his far-off college to fool about with us. Good times they were. Me, Nim%, Fatbear, CloudneroZ, Kelp_Master, McSlave, and Ese all crammed in a room playing Halo2 and Soul Calibur. Then we went to Steak and Shake, where I gorged myself on eggnog. Fatbear left again though back for college, and wont be back for a while. But when he DOES come back, it will be for a month. Whitecastle, ahoy!
GREAT GOOGLY POOGLY!!! I nearly forgot. Good news has headed my way. My Uncle will NOT be shipped off to Iraq. They are sending him to Germany instead. So woo and yay for that.
Also after Thanksgiving, my mother decided she wanted me to go on the roof of her house and staple damnable christmas lights up there, all over the place. Needless to say, it was a cold accident filled day. You can see this lovely footage I have constructed. Its quite accurate:
As of late I have been working on a big animation about War. Its going to be quite a spectacle. I have sooo many things in it. Marching robots, shattering 3D glass, tanks with moving treads, walk cycles, perspective changes, climbing robots, splattering blood, slow motion, and other things I wont divulge. It is going to rock. And rock hard. Especially with some lovely U2 as the music in it.
In other other news, as some of you know, Pixar is leaving Disney. Why? Because Eisner has the brainpower of a cherry. So, once the movie Cars comes out, Pixars contract will be up and they will be a free agent. So how did Eisner compensate for this? By closing down almost all of Disney's 2D animation facilities. Including the one near my house where the movies Mulan and Lilo & Stitch were made, where I was planning to work. =(. So.....what did he do with all the 2D animators? Why, he had 3D animators teach them how to animate in 3d! Which isnt a bad thing. Check out what they have made so far. A new movie called Chicken Little.
Also, Disney is making 2 sequals to Toy Story, at the same time, without the use of Pixar. I worry about that.
Yep yep. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please put a penny in the old man's hat. Then he can mug you, and beat you with bat. Then he-E can mug you-OO and beat you with a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!
I dont really want anything for Christmas. World-peace would be lovely so every time I go to CNN I dont have to listen to a bunch of old guys shreiking at each other about the war overseas. So less people could be dying every day. So fighting could stop. But that will never happen, of course. So what else could I want? Hmmm. A Nintendo DS might be nice. My GameBoyadvance SP is broken up a bit, and since the DS can play GameBoyAdvance games, it sounds like a good deal. That, and I got to play Mario64x4 and it kicks ass. Alot of ass. Alot of red hairy ass.
Damn you, Yoshi and your cuteness!
Why does he wear shoes? He's a dinosaur. and they're gaudy anyway. Give him cool dinosaur feet Nintendo. With one big claw like a velociraptor. That would be nice.
As long as I am on the subject of videogames, I should tell you Pokemon fans out there, that Famitsu is making new 3D pokemon game for the gamecube. Please let it be a big 3D RPG, and not another shite "Stadium" game that makes me lose faith in the market altogether.
But in happier news, the greatest videogame character EVER is finally getting a 3D game to call his own: Kirby. I reckon it will be good. Kirby has a near flawless track record. In fact, he's only eevr had one bad game. A horrible game called "Kirby' Tilt n Tumble". It was so terrible, people's hands were actually bursting into flaming blue light and melting off from playing it. Very sad.
In some funny news, "Mortal Kombat: Deception" was listed as one of the top 10 most violent games of the year. I find this hilarious because the blood in the game still looks fake, on purpose. Sigh.....ah well. At least this wont hamper its sales. Its a pretty good game. Nim rented it a couple of weeks ago. Midway really worked hard on it. Lets hope it pays off, they're in need of more hit games.
Doobeedoobeedoo. I think thats it. I am out of crap to write about for today. I must go. I have promises to keep, miles to go before I sleep. |
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Live or die. Make your choice. |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
16:11:04
9:08pm
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Babum! Bum!
Yes. I have finally decided to make a large update. And a BIG update this shall be. Oh where to start, where to start. So many things have happened these past few days, it's amazing. Insane. Banana.
First, my good friend Nim% bought Halo2, and its indeed a beautiful game. I have never seen so much well-done bump mapping in a video game except for Doom3. Its fun as hell, I still suck at it, but wow. Bungie, I salute you. In other news Klonoa2 is finally coming to the game boy advance. It certainly took its good sweet time getting here. I've only been waiting like a year and half.
Event#1: For a very long time I have noticed a rather odd power-plant hidden behind a large grove of trees in my town. A few years ago it was completely hidden from view. But these days due to the trees thinning, you can see it in large chunks through the branches as you drive by. I have always been infatuated with it. What is it? Why is is there? What is it's purpose? Me and Nim did some exploring.
Nim parked his car a few blocks down in a small terrace, and the two of us walked through the woods peering at this power plant. It is enormous. A monstrosity of steel, pipes, concrete, and smokestacks. Its the size of a Super Wal-Mart. It has hangars for vehicles. And it sits on the edge of a rather large lake. We stared in awe at it. A huge fence with razor wire surrounds it, stopping the trees, and us. So Nim and I walked along until we came to a gap in the fence. Fearing possible security cameras and alarms, we decided NOT to go in. We took a different route.
What followed next was a good half-an hour of Nim and I driving through neigborhoods we didn't know exsisted, in a futile attempt to see the factory from a different angle. We got nowhere. The best we could see were the bright hydrogen bulbs of the factory peeking through the trees of some backyards. So we started to head back so we could pick up CloudneroZ from her dance class.
Suddenly Nim stopped and said "Dude, how do you think people get in there?" And I was like: "Well, there has to be an entrance somewhere."
Then Nim said "I think I saw it."
And indeed he had. A small shabby road going through a barren neigborhood flocked by tall trees on eiter side greeted us. But at the end of this road was a bright blue light. So we drove. This was a very creepy neighborhood. No street lights, so it was almost pitch black. We arrived at some large metal chain-linked gates.
"Private Property"
"Government Facility"
"No Trespassers"
Jackpot.
We had found the entrance. And the gates were wide open. But we didnt go in for fear of being caught. So jokingly, I opened up the window, shook my fist st the factory and shouted: "Darn you Government! You win this time!"
We then started to make a U-Turn when an enormous Pickup Truck covered in lights above the windsheild suddenly shot out from behind one of the large cylindrical parts of the factory. So Nim and I barreled down the road with this enormous truck chasing us, and then suddenly the truck stopped dead. Me and Nim kept driving. That place is NOT a water-treatment plant. Thats for damn sure.
Then we had Sushi with CloudneroZ. Authentic Sushi. Hand made by the little old chef who co-owns the restaurant. Very tasty. For 4 dollars I had a dozen california rolls with ginger and wasabi. Nim had tofu and miso soup. Cloud had some sort of food that I cant describe because its.....indescribable. BUT, I put far too much wasabi on my california rolls and blacked out for about 20 seconds, drooling all over myself in an event that I can only describe as my mouth having a seizure and my tongue having an orgasm. Then we went back to Nim's house and played with Halo2.
What have I been up to since then?
I bought a lightsaber. A REAL lightsaber. I managed to cut down a tree with it, too. Feeling confident, I let a friend take a photo of me whilst I whirled it around my body like a baton. Sadness:
Tis but a flesh wound.
Also, I finally put my Dustbunnies comics online. Yaaaay! You can read them by clicking somewhere about.........Here.
Also also, I put up a new animation online. And my God! People love it! They are watching it in droves. So as you can imagine, this puts me in a chipper mood! You can watch the cartoon here: I'm Blue.
It got daily 5th place at Newgrounds. So woo and yay! I have finally acheived.........something.
And now, to plug a few websites that you should ALL visit.
And here they be:
VGReality - very talented guy, and a friend from TXmafia.com
Tamafia.com - think of it as a meuseum. But with Flash.
Dynakris - One of the coolest people on the net
Yep yep.
In other other news. After Nim, Cloud, and I had some food at a Steak and Shake last night, Nim's car died. And so we started calling upon Falcor, the mystical luck-dragon, to descend from the heavens and save us. But he didnt. So Nim had to call his father to give his car a jump. Either the battery is dead or the alternator is dead. :(
WORT! WORT! WORT! |
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They're laughing next to us. |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
9:11:04
9:52pm
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I was very bored today. Why? Because today we had to test our skills. Thusly, I had to reproduce a movie poster from "The Ring" and a scene from "Spongebob" entirely in Photoshop. And I was not allowed to copy+paste, or use the magic wand tool. Needless, it was a VERY long day. But I cheered up however because I got to see "Rejected."
Will that little fellow EVER find a spoon the right size?
Also, as some of you know Jay-Z is now rapping in one of Linkin Park's songs. Alot of people are complaining about Linkin park "selling out" which I laugh at. Plenty of bands have "sold out" and still sounded good.Bands need money. Its a fact of life. I am opposed to the song simply because it sounds terrible. Why Jay? Why Linkin? Why?
Anyway. Due to boredom I took the little creatures from that last cartoon I made and decided to make a short comic about them. Its sad and crappy because I am not on my home computer and this one I am working on scares me. :o
So here it is.
See how bad it looks? I need to be home to make comics that look any good. And so, I leave you. For I must ride my noble steed (warthog) to my house! Hi-Ho silver! Awaaaaaayyyy!
Worst Blog Entry EV0R! |
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Bernard Derriman = omg teh awesome! |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
2:11:04
9:34pm
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Hello. Goodbye. And Who the hell are you?
I have decided to start writing in this thing more often as I heard a friend of mine complaining that I dont update enough. This may be true. It also may be made of tapioca pudding, but hey! Who's counting?
So, you are probably saying to yourself:
"Why isn't Zekey in a foul mood today?"
Because I'm not. I should be. I have pissed off most of my friends over the net. I have gotten a death threat from some weird hobo who lives down the road. Apparently he is going to eat my eyes with a pencil?
But despite all these things I'm in a pretty good mood. Woo and yay. Yay and woo. By the way, as some of you might recall, I was making a big fancy schmancy Halloween cartoon.
Well, guess what?
It died. Blame Bill Gates and fill his inbox with angry rants at how shit Windows XP is. Of course I wasnt completely incapacitated (ooh big werdz), and I managed to finish up a little project I've had in my mind. A short wee minute long animation about little boxes trying to reach the sun.
And by clicking on this sad sentence you might access it.
Besides that, as some of you might know, today was voting day. Now alot of people think I should vote for Kerry because Bush sucks balls. And indeed, he does. But I am not going to vote for Kerry simply because of that. So I am sure you are saying: "I wonder who Zekey voted for?"
I'm not telling you people. So there. *commence raspberry*
But it was neither Bush nor Kerry, you can be sure of that. And thus, having done my civic duty as a citizen of the U.S.A., I trotted home upon my armadillo, Gerald. Today in le college, we played about with displacement maps, colormaps, and bitmaps. If you dont know what those are, then I suggest you use Google as any explanation y me is certain to fill many paragraphs and by now you are all probably clicking the go-back button on your webrowsers anyway. -__- wimps.
Doodledoo. Oh damnit. Someone is playing "The Smurfs: Lost Episode" around here. That thing is funny, but not after 150 times! I get it! The smurfs are on ectasy! And they are horny! Make the music stop, God. Make the music stop.
Some possibly sad news. As some of you know, I use the program PaintShopPro 7 and 8 to create a good 90% of my art. I simply like its interface more than Photoshops. But recently JASC, the creators of PSP, were bought by the company Corel who make WordPerfect. What does this mean? It means the next version of PSP (version 10) could either be a complete pile of crap, or have better vector tools. Only time will tell, and it has a bad charlie horse.
Oh yes. I saw something I likey other day! My favorite miniseries of this year is out on 4 DVDs! Woo Yay! Kingdom Hospital, based off of the books by Stephen King. It was an awesome show. Very few shows are what I'd call "Movie Quality" but this one was. It's about a haunted hospital, basically, that was built on a burnt-down childrens hospital. It had giant talking anteaters, creepy ghost children, burn-victim-cereal-killers, vampires, hallucinations, poltergeists. Everything. And it presented them all in a very non-corny format. Here are some images so the right side of your brain can dance and sing:
That show was so good. Very few shows do I feel the compulsive NEED to see each episode. I was engrossed with it. And now I can purchase it and watch the whole series from start to finish.
Anywho...
Ever paint a chickpea? NO. The other night, I went over to Psychohamster's house and me, him, and CloudneroZ (who are celebrating their 1 year anniversary omgwoo!), watched an old black-and-white horror movie called "Monstrosity"
This movie is so crap, that no one even bothers to review it, as there have been several other monstrosity movies made long after this 1930-1950 era flick.
The movie starts off wth nudity, which is stunning for a film this old. They weren't allowed to show nakedness back then! A mad scientist lowers the naked chick into some goo, and when he pulls her out, she has turned into a skeleton that is smaller than her bodies framework, but hey its low budget. Whateryagonnado? So. The narrator pipes in. He kicks ass. He has a deep booming voice, a weird accent, and says all sorts of mad acid-trip poetic stuff whilst setting up the story.
The Story: Some little old lady wants to be young. So she hires a mad scientist to switch her brain with that of a young woman. So they place a fake ad for a house cleaner and 3 supermodels show up. A tall sexy one, a short cute one, and a cute foreign one. As with all things back then, the foreign one gets screwed first. Her brain is taken out, and she is given a cat's brain. Thus, anime was created. -__-
So she runs around on the roof of the house. Then we see out first cameo appearance. The Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" is chained to a brick wall in the backyard, ad the stupid supermodels are too afraid to escape while he is CHAINED UP and cannot possibly get to them.
The tall sexy model stumbles across her felinated friend who is crawling up a flower bed. The friend swipes at her cheek, and wouldn't you know it! Her eyeball falls out! Thats what botox does to you. Botox, my anti-drug.
40 mindnumbing minutes later, the mad scientist gets his revenge on the crotchety old woman by putting her brain into a cat's skull. Its interesting. Before I saw this movie, I neevr realized how much a human brain looks like a slab of roast beef. Or that a human brain is remarkably the same size as a cats.
The short supermodel locks the scientist into the room where he made the female Skeletor earlier and he dances about inside screaming that he wants to be let out. At this moment, a small black puppet cat presses some lever, and the scientist has become a skeleton.
And as usual, with these movies, once the villain has died, the house decides it wants to explode. And it does, and the short supermodel flees. The tall one runs about eyeless until she gets electrocuted on some air. The house goes up in flames. And the short supermodel runs into the dark night with the cat chasing after her. And the narrator says:
"She may be stuck in the body of a cat, but she will have her revenge. Some day very soon."
BUM BUM BUUUUUUMMMMM!
And the movie ended. What ever happened to The Beast? Nobody knows. But chances are he'd still make a better president than Bush or Kerry.
Yep. So anyway, here sre some links I demand you all visit:
Creatures in MyHead
Boy on a Stick and Slither
Explodingdog.com
American Elf comic
Red Meat - a personal fav
Spookyland - Roman Dirge stuff
Jeremy comics
Billy Blob
Cat and Girl
There.
Enjoy those.
More later perhaps if I'm feeling link-generous.
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Random Link: |
Nebulus
Flash verion of fantastic C64 game |
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