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And now, young jedi.........you will die. |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
29:03:05
7:36am
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To cut a long story very very short: the blogs are going away.
Basically I'd like to say goodbye to those 2 or 3 of you who got entertainment from the massive amounts of rubbish I managed to type into this thing.
The show is over. The squirrels are dead and Billy got a horrible venereal disease and died.
But for those of you who give a creppe, I have set up a new blog already. And will be just as shitty as this one was! Wont that be lovely?
Here it is with the clicking.
Oh and feel free to spam the comment box with the usual insults, spam, and regular crap they have been filling with as of late. Noone cares anymore.
TTFN. Ta-ta for now. VISIT MY OTHER BLOG. >:O |
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Moon chavs! Chavs on the moon! |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
21:03:05
6:43am
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Is he dead? Lets poke him with a stick!
Get the hell away from me Billy! Zekey is all hung over from partying like a leprechaun on crack during St.Patrick's day. My pee is green, and my teeth are clean.
But alas. So much hath happened since I last wrote in my bliggity-blog. So much stuff.
M'kay.
I beleive last time I wrote, I wrote about going to a comic book convention. And I did. Megacon2005 in Orlando, Florida. Now for those who don't go to comic book conventions there are 2 things going on. Things to watch, and things to buy.
The buyable things range from comic books, dvd's, vhs tapes, music cds, wall scrolls, real dangerous weapons, costumes, action figures, photos, foreign foods, and midgets. I, being a comic book fan but also having no money could only afford to buy but a single comic. A lovely story called "The White Elephant" about a man whose rage and disgust at his own family manifests itself as a white elephant that bludgeons its way into his memories and dreams. It kicks ass, and is a very yes buy.
Sadly, I had not the cash to buy anything else. DVDs I didnt know even exsisted were evrywhere. They were almost all bootlegs of course, but still. Almost any old cartoon show you can think of had a DVD. Count Duckula, Ant and the Anteater, Invader Zim, and some DVDs of cartoons that have been banned from television. Most of these are old toons from the 30's and 40's that had some extremly offensive characters made specifically to poke fun at minorities.
My brother bought about 3 real katanas and a pile of other junk I cant be bothered to remember. Attending with me was my buddy Kelp_Master. He decided to dress like the main chracter from some anime called "Strawberry Eggs." This meant Tom was dressed as a woman. And it scared and disturbed me to the very depths of my soul. What makes it even more frightening is that some people thought Tom was actually a woman. I would put a picture of it here, but I fear scaring those with weaker constitutions.
I wont go into all the aggravation comic conventions bring me. I go in the hopes of purchasing good comics, meeting famous people, and perhaps even engaging in a few lively games of video game play. Sadly, this happens in very rare bouts. Because unfortunately most comic conventions are filled with the scourge of my joy, called Anime Superfans. Sad 12-15 year olds who dress in terrible cosplay costumes and do nothing at these conventions besides taking up space, shreiking, glomping, and other actions which are embarassing to see and happen far too often. These people dont even watch the anime that comes on screen at certain times of the day. They just come to "do" things. The problem is, there are so many at conventions these days, that navigating the convention hall is like trying to steer a baby on a 1-wheeled trike across a tightrope.
But this doesnt mean I had a bad time. Sure there were dissapointments. I couldnt find anyone else with a NintendoDS, although according to my friend Joey, he saw a croud of nearly 30 people playing with them. Sigh.
BUT, I met Louis Ferrigno, the man who played The Incredible Hulk on the television show. He is ENORMOUS. He's like 7 feet tall and filled with muscles. I saw the actor who played Data on StarTrek.
But best of all, I met George Lowe: the voice of Spaceghost. Very funny guy. He was tired of people asking him to say things and said out loud "They don't shut up! For all the tea in China they dont shut up!"
Later when a man's cell phone went off, George quipped "Sir, your pants are ringing."
I found out recently that to have a booth at most local conventions is about $12 for a table. Which isnt bad. Maybe one day me and my buddy Zack will make a few prints of our best drawings and sell them. Maybe.
Since then I have been taking the final exams in college, trying to desperatley find a copy of the UNCUT version of "The Theif and the Cobbler" movie, and working on Flash cartoons of course.
Which reminds me, click this link HERE.
As usual in my trecks across this great internet of ours, I find things. Thingy things that are ever so thingy. Which means you, yes you, the loyal viewers and viewettes will see what bizarre doodads I hath found for thee. Here come some links.
TxMafia - I keep reposting this one for a reason.
Superbad - What?
Hooray For Fun - funny ADD cartoons
Threebrain-he just finished his latest cartoon. Fling Fling 4! Funny as hell.
Larry Carlson - the trippiest stuff on the internet. You will watch it all and LIKE IT.
Spring is technically here. Which means previews for all the big summer movies are all over the place. And because this is my blog and I can, I am going to comment on them! Those who are reading this hoping for something interesting to happen should hit the "back" button now.
Sin City - Robert Rodriguez + Frank Miller = orgasm of awesomeness. Must see.
Fantastic 4 - every time I mention that this film looks too much like "the Hulk" to me, stupid people think I am referring to The Thing. I am not fucking reffering to the Thing. The whole film looks like it uses the same special effects team as the Hulk. and why Jessica Alba? Why? I bet its going to smell.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - Tim Burton directing a film about a psychotic madman who makes candy? Sounds good. I hope Johnny Depp pulls it off, because the trailer worries me.
Star Wars III - Why Lucas? Why do you tempt me with these images of awesomeness? Of course I will be seeing this simply to hope the acting is better than Episode II.
Cars - Pixar have never made a bad film. This will rock as well, no doubt. The talking cars look alot like the way Tex Avery made talking cars. Coincidence?
Madagascar - the trailer is hilarious. The movie is visually bizarre and stunning. I will most definitely be seeing this.
The Island - if you haven't seen the trailer for this yet, GO NOW. It looks awesome. Like a Minority Report-esque movie.
A Scanner Darkly - its from the guy who made "Waking Life." This will be insane. And probably very mindbending by the looks of the trailer.
The Chronicles of Narnia - Please, God. Don't let this film get ruined so I have to into an uncontrollable rage and burn down the movie theatre.
Righty-O.
I am slowly reaching the end of this here blog entry. Those of you who manage to read this far: give yourself a pat on the back! You managed to get through another page of this swill I write. And to reward you, here is a funny picture!
Enjoy:
You are now scarred for life. Have a nice day. |
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A told B, and B told C, I'll meet you to the top of the coconut tree. |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
18:02:05
9:38pm
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Rant Time.
Look. Over the last 2 decades now alot of people have attempted to "revive" old cartoon characters. Meaning they try to make new shorts featuring the characters. These almost always suck alot. A hell of alot.
What makes it worse is when they try to change the characters. Does anyone remember the NEW Woody Woodpecker cartoons? He was Scottish in those. Woody Woodpecker never had a fucking Scottish accent. He is an American cartoon character. And the plots were so bad. So bad. (weeps).
What about the Felix the Cat cartoons? We never play the original ones, but we sure as hell will make deranged new ones that mangle one of the oldest cartoon characters of all time.
But now, it's gone too far. I am, of course, talking about the Loonatics. Yes sir, as Warner Brothers animation slowly circles the ratings drain, new ideas must come forth. We must venture out and try to find NEW shows that are funny, likeable, and high in quality. Or we can take some of americas most beloved, completely tear them apart, and rebuild them to look like shitty superheroes.
Here they are folks. The NEW Looney Tunes. Notice, once again, that Porky Pig is not there as usual.
And for those of you who want to watch these atrocities actually "move" and "fight" and "be cool" then you really want to click this link: Loonashits.
Some of you are probably disgusted by this. And you should be. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Anyone remember the NEW 3D Popeye computer-animated movie? Of course not. Kids these days have never seen Popeye. They couldn't care less about him. Same thing here. You cant just take old characters, cover them in a coat....latex....and then expect people to love them. People don't fucking work like that.
"But why are they doing this, Mr.Zekey? Why did they change Bugs Bunny?"
For ratings Billy. You see, unlike Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, Warner Brothers has no good shows that anyone wants to watch. They had Teen Titans, but everyone can watch that on cartoon network. And besides that they have Yu-Gi-Oh which is probably the cheapest excuse for a program I have seen ever. Yu-Gi-Oh will probably be cancelled soon, and due to the popularity of SpongeBob, Warner Brothers needs a new way of trying to make us watch that thing they call a television channel. This means taking old characters and rehashing them.
Rehashing doesnt work.
Which reminds me! Back in 1942, the movie Bambi came out. In 63 years, that film has remained in tact and perfect. In 63 years it is still a stunningly beautiful animated film to watch. In 63 years, it has not required a sequel. But by God! It needs one now! Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Disney has made a sequel to Bambi. The worst part of this is that the film looks very pretty. This is bad. If this movie does well, what's to stop Producers from making more sequels to classic films?
Every sequel to a cartoon movie that Disney has made, has sucked. Snow White2, Cindarella2, Lady and the Tramp2, 102 Dalmations, Peter Pan2, Dumbo2, Pocahontas2, and the list goes on and on and on. I think the best way to describe this situation comes from the wonderful website Cartoon Brew:
That having been said, I'm still pissed about this project. But for a wholly different reason. Pissed, because for every misguided show like LOONATICS, we lose out (and Warner Bros. loses out) on discovering the next Chuck Jones, the next Bob Clampett, the next Tex Avery, the next individual who could be creating the Bugs Bunny's and Daffy Duck's of our generation. There are countless modern creators out there who have ideas...who have something to say...and it's a slap in the face of every talented artist working in this business whenever a major animation studio chickens out like this. Shoving a tired rabbit down America's throat for the umpteenth time will never reap WB the rewards of giving America a great new cartoon star, an honestly-created cartoon that speaks to our time and place.
But with or without their original creators, reviving popular characters is always risky. When classic characters are beloved, reinvention can be (and usually are) disastrous. Think back to the talking Pink Panther series or talking Tom & Jerry movie; anyone remember the “new” Speed Racer series or the American Godzilla flick? These changes were made to achieve certain short-term marketing goals, to capitalize on exploitational buzz, and to make a fast buck. There was no attempt to build on the already existing “pre-sold” audience. And the pre-sold crowd was totally burned by the “new” aspects being foist on their favorite characters. New viewers never had any interest in these ill-concieved ideas in the first place. The results: everyone loses - a failed project for all parties involved.
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But enough about that. We are powerless to do anything but simply NOT WATCH this Loonatics cartoon so they dont get ratings.
Anywho,as of late I have been bored. Me and Nim, Cloud, and Brennan are trying to finish up the damnable superhero cartoon we have been making. But things keep getting in the way. But tonight will be a nice change of pace. We are going to see Constantine. The new film starring good ol' Keaneau Reeves. It, like all good action films, is based off of a comic book. Personally I can't wait.
By the way, check out the AWESOMENESS.
Besides that, I have little to say today. I just wanted to get in a few angry bad words about how much I hate corporate animation projects that glop old classic characters in "hip" idiocy.
And so, because I am out of typical poo to type about, I bring to you, the viewer, a lovley photograph of a pickle.
Enjoy!
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There's a ring on my cell phone. I pick it up. Its the angel of death and he said "Whats Up?" |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
11:02:05
8:12pm
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Lovely things have been happening about me as of late.
Nim has a friend who knows 3DsMax very well, and Swift3d. This friend of his has seen my crappy animations on Newgrounds and likes them alot. So much that he's going to teach me how to use Swift3d and 3DsMax. That rocks, as I have been needing to know how to use those programs quite badly.
Also, he taught me some actionscript last night, which means that with any luck, I'll be able to put "EXTRAS" at the end of the superhero cartoon that Nim, Cloud and I are making.
Which reminds me. It was CloudneroZ's birthday 2.5 days ago. She has reached the ripe old age of 20 and is now officially over-the-hill. For her birthday I made a cartoon about Pandas. She loves Pandas for some reason. But the cute pandas quickly start jamming some APOCOLYPTICA on their instruments. And then the cartoon becomes rather satanic. Happy Birthday!
Some lesser good things have happened to me as of late. I had to hire some fellow to go into my attic and rewire my house because the cable internet was reaching two computers via the means of a veritable spiderweb of wires and cords.
Also I keep finding out about more people whom I thought were decent folk are talking behind my back whilst in chatrooms.
Also also, my brother recently spent about 350$ on buying memory for his computer. Whats funny is that as soon as he got it installed, his extremly fancy new computer decided to stop working. Period. So he is basically screwed. One has to wonder if some day in the future people will invent a computer that simply "works."
Ah, but such a thing will never occur.
You know whats pissing me off? Its bad enough when you get to be a music star simply because you are rich. But when you actually become more popular because you get BOO'D OFF THE STAGE, thats when the world is finally imploding on itself. I am of course, talking about Ashley Simpson, whose plastic-surgery enhanced barbiesque face is gracing the cover of EVERY magazine in the supermarket.
Congrats, Ashley. You are the new William Hung.
Adobe Aftereffects is an odd program. I cant tell exactly what it does, but it is interesting what little I have had to experience. But how does one make cartoons with it? Apparently most of the shows on Adult Swim are made with this program. But how?
Ol' Zekey is jobless again. And he cant seem to get hired. I seriously need to find someway of making money via the internet. There MUST be a way for me to use what few pathetic skills I have to make a dime or two.
How do a stop a clown from coming through a doorway? With a hammer.
I have been hanging about Newgrounds a bit more often as of late. I have to say its a remarkable place sometimes. How many places are there on the net where someone can ask "may I hit you with a frying pan" and someone else will respond "eat shit".
Paul Giamatti. He is an incredibly talented actor, and has been in alot of movies. He was in "American Splendor" which rocked, and he was in the movie "Sideways" recently, which was such an incredibly good movie. Did he get nominated for an Oscar? NO. Because the academy awards HATE COMEDY. and I still say that "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" is a far better film than "Gladiator" any day of the week.
Btw, as anyone who watched the Superbowl knows, the ads this year were poopeh. The FCC has facially mangled humor to death. But one ad sticks out in ones mind. An ad for a website called GoDaddy.com. This ad featured an amazingly hot chick's shirt nearly popping off due to "wardrobe malfunction".
Being the curious person I am, I decided to check out GoDaddy.com in the hopes of perhaps seeing more of what I saw in the commercial.
Apparently, its simply an enormous web-hosting domain name-giving site. And sadly there are no nearly-naked supermodels. So I am dissapointed. :(
But apparently due to that ad (which got pulled after 2 viewings due to it being too risque, the traffic for the website is up 600%.
The internet is a lovely place for finding pictures of strange things. BEHOLD:
What are those pictures? What do they mean? Who REALLY cares?
Every day I scope the internet looking for interesting websites. Sometimes I come across horrid websites that burn the eyes. Sometimes I find wonderful websites of awesome webcomics, humor and other things. But rarely do I come across a website that makes one stop, look and the clouds, and say "WTF?"
Behold the webpage of Mixel Pixel.
a lovely website with a cool sense of design and other stuff.I am not sure quite what its point is, despite it belonging to an onscure musical talent, but last I checked not everything needs a point.And he uses pixels! wooyay!
Now I've had this blog for a while now. And I feel its time I give something back to you, the viewer. I am going to try and learn a good dose of HTML. Surely you agree that reading this bi-weekly swill would be a tad more pleasant if some music were playing in the backround? Or if little leaves fell delicately down the screen?
So prepare for prettiness. And maybe a new font sometime soon.
For those of you who haven't seen TokyoPlastic's award-winning animation, here is a link. Its made completely in Swift3d apparently. And the cartoon doth rock. Its on Atomfilms too, but they cut out the cool beginning and freaky end scene. The website runs completely in Flashplayer and is HUGE so if you have 56k, you will want to stay far away if you value your ram. The Drum Machine.
Now as with most blogs, I should tell you all something interesting thats happened to me, right? Hmmm. Something interesting.......well.....I got a cold. Its like 30degrees in Tampa right now. My mother bought me a watch. It has successfully torn out most of the hair on my wrist. I am still working on the Superhero cartoon with Nim% and CloudneroZ. Its going to be funny as hell when it's done. Also I am working on an animated Dustbunnies cartoon and trying my level best to get as much stuff into it as possible without it becoming more than 5.5 megabytes in size or so. And I'm gonna finish that satanic panda cartoon tonight. I've realized how good Flash is for drawing dark disturbing things. Its quite easy to make a goth panda.
Why the hell am I talking about goth pandas?
Some rather "oh dear" news. A new "Evil Dead" movie is being made. And Bruce Cambell is starring in it again. At the same time, there are two remakes of the original 2 evil dead movies in the works. Bruce will not be starring in those and has asked that the characters names be changed.
Knowing Hollywood, I am certain they will find a way to fuck up these movies. Look at the Garfield movie.
Lemme explain something. In the comics, Jon is in love with Garfield's vet. Liz, the vet, cannot STAND being around John. John got Odie from a friend of his very early in the comics.
However, in the movie, Liz is in love with Jon but he is too stupid to notice. And Odie is a stray that Jon finds. Thanks Hollywood. You shits.
I have been playing around with Fruityloops alot as of late. And I have managed to recreate and remix some of my favorite video game music. Particularly music from Donkey Kong Country and DK64. I remixed the cave music from the level titled "Winky's Walkway". Yes, you may giggle at the name. But the song was very pretty. So I decided to try my hand at boosting it into full-fledged techno mode. And it came out wonderfully. Its the best song I've made so far. I added a few extra notes here and there, and even managed to make one of the synths named 'House' sound like a monkey hooting and it fits in perfectly. It came out so well I am pondering sending it over to OCremix and seeing what they think of it. I wish I were listening to it now. But I cannot.
I am typing this on the comp where all my files are stored at college. I finished my first demo-reel with Adobe Aftereffects and burned it to a CD as a Quicktime file. Its 230 megabytes. O_o. So my project is done and I turned it in to the proffesor who is never around. He's always in the motion capture lab.
And so, thusly, I decided to update this here blog. And as with all my blogs entries excpet the first one, the title is an obscure pop-culture reference because i am SOOOO original and unique. -___-
Chances are I wont update this thing again for a couple of weeks like usual. So I wish you all a Happy Valentines Day! As some may know, it is the celebrated day of love when a young rogue named "St. Valentino" proffesed to his beloved every night by leaving a sugar loated love letter on her windowsill. Sadly, Valentino later got about 40 STDs (including crotchrot) from some hooker he met in an alley. (But we leave that part of the story out so as not to scare the children.)
>:O |
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We'll need someone who's strong. And loud. And grumpy. And oblivious to reality. |
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posted by
ZekeyLizard
28:01:05
5:12am
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"Billy, you really shouldn't listen to that Zekey fellow. He's got mental issues...
"True. But I find his repetitive nonsense mildly interesting. Perhaps he's just misunderstood?
"Or perhaps he's just a dumbass....."
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Welcome to Florida!
Where it goes from Winter to Spring to Summer and back to Winter in less than a week. Seriously. This weather is slowly killing what little will I have to not scream bad words at the sky cursing it for putting the state in a cyclone of freeze and boil.
Now of course those of you who read this blog and comment annualy (thats right. All 5 of you.<_<) know that I have just started a new year of college courses. These courses are English Composition, 2D Animation, Stoyboards and Scripts, and Studio Techniques.
English Composition is exactly as boring as I knew it would be. We're learning how to conjugate ENGLISH verbs. Because as we all know, by the time you is in college, you know not what words go where in the face i liek two spell.
2D animation is lovely. We are learning how to use the uber-frustrating vector program known as Adobe Illustrator. Or, as I have commonly nicknamed it, "Oh dear God, not this unresponsive peice of crap again. Make the madness stop!"
But we are also learning Flash. Well, the class is. Its rather funny watching my friends struggle to do something in 20 minutes that I could sling together in 30 seconds. I offer my help, of course. And it also gave me time to work on a Flash animation I have secretly stowed away on the school's server. Its about a robot who's hand runs away. It makes no sense and is rather random But hopefully it will be good.
Storyboards and Scripts is a mildly fun class. We do alot of drawing in it. But mainly we address what is the most important part of any film, play, or production. The storyboard. The long comic that explains every camera angle, every shot, every lighting, every motion, every line, and every little thing that lets you know what Director made what movie. We have been studying the movie "Snatch" by Guy Ritchie. Indeed, a very complicated movie to make.
Studio techniques is basically the class where we are learning how to use Adobe Aftereffects. A very long, complicated, user-unfriendly program that is freakishly useful. We are making our first demo-reels on it. Mine's gonna suck like a hungry anteater!
But enough about that.
Mulan 2 is out. And by the looks of things, it seems to be one of those rare "really good but underappreciated" straight-to-video sequels ala An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Weee!: 
I'm going to take a moment to say something amazingly feminine here. Baby turtles and caterpillars are amazingly adorable. I really need a turtle again. I lost all of mine almost a year and a half ago. I miss them. And I adore caterpillars. When I go on my walk to the park, I simply must pet every caterpillar I come across.
This was "a very feminine moment" by Zekey.
This will never happen again in this blog.
How's this for irony?
My family's old child-psychologist Dr.Flens was just on the news. He was speaking out against psychologists who have sex with their patients. Which is funny, as he was clearly hitting on my mom in the middle of the divorce between my parents 5 years ago. Which is, of course, the only real reason she got custody and alimony. Our country's judicial system sucks big balls. Almost every judge in Florida is corrupt. It disgusts me.
I have been banned twice from Newgrounds now. Once for posting a picture of a monster blowing out candles. And another for posting my distaste of a topic in their forums. And yet, the other day I got a review for a cartoon which stated: "You suck! Your mother sucks cocks in hell"
But this little fellow wasn't banned.
Shows what sort of place Newgrounds has become.
Crop-dusting!!!!!!!!!!!
Me, Nim%, and CloudneroZ are working on a new Flash cartoon. Its about really crappy superheros with really crappy powers who fight really crappy supervillains. It looks to be awesome. We've only done about 50 seconds of it thus far and its already funny as hell. We are trying to keep the animation a bit more limited so it seems like an animated comic-book and also because after completing the Red War I am really REALLY not in the mood to make a fecking eye-popping spectacle of color and movement.
But the cartoon will be good. And funny.
And there will be cameos. I love gooooooooollllllld.
Its interesting. You can forget a person for years and then one day, run into them somewhere and remember why you enjoyed hanging with them in the first place. The person in this instance would be my friend from Elementary school, Paul. He is now working at an electronic boutique. I ran into him at the "rich-people" mall. We talked about video games. About how awesome Resident Evil 4 is. How easy to beat the new Zelda game boy game is. How much the new Metal Gear Solid for the PSP is going to suck.
In slightly sadder news, a helicopter full of soldiers crashed in Iraq and Johnny Carson died a few days ago of Emphysema. So here is a moment of silence (large blank space) for these people.
Thank you.
In the last few days, Nim and I have been testing to see what sort of animations we can throw together in 15-20 minutes or less. We have made some sick deranged cartoons in the las few days that are basically random jumbles of pictures tossed together, animated, and set to music. Sadly, when we placed these on Newgrounds they were NOT blammed! How? They got incredibly low scores but they lived! It's a sad pathetic miracle.
We got Speakonia too. Now we can make awesome robot voices for our cartoons. Which is good.
Hmm. Ah yes! One last tidbit of information. A few months ago you might recall me writing a bunch of crap in this thing about Tim Burton's new stop-motion animated movie...
Well, the trailor is out! And it looks awesome!
The Corpse Bride
Righty-o.
I think I am just about out of random boring blah to write incessantly about. So I shall bid you all adieu......
ADIEU!!!!!! |
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Random Link: |
Nebulus
Flash verion of fantastic C64 game |
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