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Caution - may contain nuts |
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posted by
Scrambled
17:07:04
12:14am
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Hello and welcome to my blog, don't say fuck or bugger
...
Bugger me, I'm fucking bored...
So bored that I'm making a blog entry about being bored.
Yup...
So, you come here often?
No?
Yeah well I wouldn't either, a right shithole it is too...
What's that? How am I?
Well I'm bored. Hadn't you already gathered that?
Are you mocking me?
You fucking bugger.
Sigh, well I guess I may as well go into some of what I've been up to the last few days. I owe you that much.
Lauren's been in Norway since Monday evening and I'm missing her like crazy. Not only am I lacking a girlfriend and someone to curl up with at night, I'm missing my best friend - someone to laugh and joke with and someone who I've grown to feel completely relaxed around and love every moment of time with. What makes it worse is that she's away from any real form of communication and so I haven't heard from her since she landed safely. I can't stop thinking about what she's doing and where she is and how she's feeling. Bah... anyway, that's enough of that.
The colonel stayed with me until wednesday, meeting my family and keeping me company whilst I went about my day to day stuff. Day to day stuff recently has meant publicising a major show with a budget of £1500. The problem is, everytime I want to spend some of that money I need to get a paper copy of an invoice and pass it through about three people and it takes like a week. Considering the ridiculously short deadline I have, this is just not practical. Instead, for the last few weeks I have been using my own funds and keeping the receipts. I currently have near zero funds in my account, outstanding utilities bills to pay and various sources owing me a total of approximately £200. To say that I am pissed off and a little stressed would be an understatement.
What makes matters worse is that I have 1000 programmes to print by next week, a matter that will cost hundreds of pounds; pounds which I do not have - even to be payed back. The payment isn't the least of my problems, I still have to finish designing the programme and contacting people who want to advertise in it.
Oh yeah, I also have to design 3 large banners and buy the raw materials to make them up. With money that I don't have. I need to have that done by Sunday.
Tomorrow is Saturday and I have promised my Dad that I will spend the day with him going to see an art exhibition in London. This will be nice, but I'm worried about the time I have left and how I am going to get everything done.
On top of all this, I have to be in the show itself. This means a tremendous amount of work commiting dance routines, lines and stage directions to memory. But my mind is too buzzing with all of the above shit that I can't focus on that at the moment - which makes me even more stressed and worried.
To put it simply, I am stressed and trying to avoid it by making myself bored.
I'm doing a good job too - earlier on I balanced a cricket ball on my head for a good ten minutes. This told me that I needed a haircut and, sure enough, as I stood up to look in the mirror I realised that my hair looked like a gorse bush and my face looked like I hadn't shaved for a week. I reasoned that the latter part was probably due to the fact that I hadn't had a shave for a week. Scruffy would be a word to describe me a few days ago, I don't know what the word is now but the French probably have a good word for it. Something like le scruffémousse or avec le scrufé. I don't know, I gave up French once I met them.
I took the cricket ball off my head, partly because I was getting bored with that and partly because I realised that my ball-obsessed border collie, Sky, was staring intently at it from the doorway; and the last thing I needed now was a border collie jumping at my head. I tossed the ball back and forth in my hands for a while as my dog remained fixed on it and mused how simple life must be for a dog if a round object could cure boredom. Lucky bastards. I put it back on the shelf after that as I reasoned that throwing the ball would result in broken dog teeth and I didn't want to deal with that.
So, yeah, I'm bored and stressed and I miss my lady.
Bedtime methinks. |
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I'm losing it... so's the missus. (PART 2) |
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posted by
Scrambled
22:06:04
6:30pm
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Previously on "Blog"
POUTINE!
WALES!
JELLYFISH!
We got back from Wales on the Monday and dropped the car off in Surrey before heading back up to London the following day. I may have mentioned in a previous blog entry that, using the immense power of ebay, I managed to acquire a pair of cheap, front row seats to see Les Mis, my favourite musical ever! Lauren and I had been excited about this all week since winning the bid and as I was dozing off, the night before the day we were going, I was buzzing at the prospect. However, my sleep was not a peaceful one. I shall recount the events of my dream:
[disembodied voice with strong northern accent] "Day 38, in the Big Brother house. Seb is getting nervous"
[cut to me frantically running around the Big Brother house] "Where the fuck ARE they? OI! WHERE! FUCKING HELP!"
[generic BB contestant] "Where's what?"
[me] "THE FUCKING LES MIS TICKETS! I CAN'T FIND THEM!"
[disembodied voice with strong northern accent] "Day 38, in the Big Brother house. Seb has lost his Les Mis tickets"
[me, angry and loudly] "IT WAS ONE OF YOU! I HAD THEM YESTERDAY OVER BY MY BED! ONE OF YOU STOLE 'EM!"
[disembodied voice with strong northern accent] "Day 38, in the Big Brother house. Seb thinks there is a thief in the Big Brother house"
I then go mental and start throwing stuff around trying to find the tickets. I then cut to a sequence where I am trying to explain to Lauren that the tickets are no longer with us and that it was all too good to be true. She blames me completely and I feel awful. It is at this point that I wake up in a cold sweat. It's 6.40am and I throw myself out of bed and start turning the room upside down in no discernable order. Lauren wakes up and sits watching me from the bed. She asks me what I am doing and I sleepily yet frantically explain that I needed to find the tickets now because of the dream I just had. I go on to describe the dream which leaves her laughing until I actually find the tickets. Needless to say I was very relieved and went back to bed to return to the insanity of the housemates.
That said, it's not the only insane dream that has been had in this bed. Less than a week before, Lauren is curled up beside me fast asleep as I try to doze off. Suddenly she kicks her legs and announces in a slurred but loud voice "BALL PIN HAMMER!" I question her but she falls back asleep. The next day she claims to remember telling me that but doesn't know why. I blame the poutine.
So, with tickets in hand, the two of us spruced ourselves up for a night on the town. I think you will agree that we look shexier than most selabrities, thankyou pleash!
It was a fabulous evening out and the music was fantastic. The midi version of Bring Him Home really does no justice to the performance. We were so close we could see the make up and lapel mics. Lauren even got to wink at Gavroche and make him shy enough to look away. :)
After the performance we went for an Italian and had a beautiful meal with a nice bottle of wine. Piccadilly Circus is a very nice part of London to spend the evening.
It was wonderful and a night that neither of us will forget for a long time.
There's just one more thing that needs to be said to further my case for a statement of dual insanity. Lying in bed last night, we're talking about something random when, mid sentence, Lauren jumps out of bed and runs across the room yelling "Oh my God." she informs me that the mouse (we know there's one in the house but it usually stays downstairs) is right under her side of the bed. I tell her to stand on the sofa but she insists on leaving the room as she runs down the corridor and locks herself in the bathroom. I put on some jeans and some hard leather shoes (in case of stampage). I slowly crouch down on my hands and knees listening for any rustling, turning off all appliances in the room that might be making any kind of noise. I was a sight, nervous myself and squatting in the centre of the room, perfectly still.
I think I hear a noise in the laundry pile and proceed to kick the shit out of several dirty shirts and bras (some were Lauren's). No mouse appears and i hear noise back over near the bed. I think I hear it under the chest of drawers so tentatively remove the bottom drawer to see if it is there. No sign. I hear rustling further up so come to the horrible realisation that it is IN one of the upper drawers. I remove the top two drawers and attack the clothing with a rolled up copy of FHM and still no mouse. The scratching sound is back over by the bed. I shout for Lauren to fetch me a flashlight from downstairs. She comes back to deliver the torch at the door before making a run back to the bathroom and locking the door again.
I shine the torch under the bed but see no mouse. Shine it behind the cabinet and see a discarded sweet wrapper. Maybe that was the cause of the sound as it slides against the wall under the immense force of gravity. Apparantly not, as the sound remains even when I remove all rubbish from behind there. I sit on the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes until the sound returns. It is very clear now, on the bedside cabinet. The rustling is on top. Yet I see no mouse. I spot a brown paper bag and put my ear to it and sure enough the rustling is coming from inside the FLAT bag. I tentatively open it and find... a tiny beetle, less than half an inch long. I remove it and kill it for doing a mouse impression before fetching Lauren from the bathroom.
So to summarise, I spent almost 40 minutes creeping around the room kicking furniture and making cat noises to try and scare out the mouse from hiding all because of a tiny beetle. Insane. Quite.
I anticipate more insanity over the next few days and will keep you all updated.
Provided I remember how to use one of these computer things...
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I'm losing it... so's the missus. (PART 1) |
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posted by
Scrambled
22:06:04
2:36am
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OK. It's official - I'm slowly losing my grasp on reality and sanity. As many of you may know (if you read my last blog entry), the lovely lady that many of you know as Foxy moved in with me a few weeks ago and everything is peachy as hell (Hell is very peachy, I have it on good authority from Dr. Weebl). However she's going nuts as well.
I blame it all on the Canadian influences she brought into my life. For instance, "Poutine."
Pictured here with a plate of buffalo wings, this Quebecois dish is essentially chips, grated cheese and gravy. It's delicious but I fear the effects it has had on my brain and my heart. I'm sure this stuff is just heart disease in a bowl but MY, is it good?
Anyway, back to more recent events. Last weekend, Lauren and myself were generously invited to spend the weekend with Nathan, Sarah and Lee (otherwise known as Dibbie, CheHamstera and the colonel). We set off from Surrey on Friday evening and made our way up the M4 to Chippenham where we spent the night at a cosy little Travel Inn. It took a while to get our room sorted because a group of chav mothers and their noisy children were invading the reception desk and angrily complaining that their rooms smelled of smoke. If there's one thing that I hate more than loud chav mothers, it's their offspring running around and enjoying getting uppity in people's faces whilst their parents stand by and watch. I know that if I end up raising children I will teach them basic courtesy and manners. Anyway, mini rant over. The room was lovely and we had a great night's sleep and an early rise the next day, setting off for Wales after a breakfast of homemade coconut and blueberry muffins.
This was the first instance of my insanity arising. Not even half a mile's drive from the hotel and I see a sign which I just had to snap. So insistent was I that after I passed it I turned the car round so that Lauren could capture it on our second pass. Don't ask me why - I'm crazy.
So we spent a morning in Bath, taking in the sights, sounds and McDonalds of a traditional piece of English heritage before crossing the Severn Bridge into Cymru. We were soon in Swansea and sitting in their lovely living room - very hospitable people and lovely to be with. The view from their front garden is, let's face it, spectacular.
On the Sunday, we decided to take a group trip to the beach. This was pleasant enough and the journey in my car was frought with bad singing, wrong turns, intrigue and mayhem.
The beach was great. We had a small picnic and I had a chance to read a bit of The DaVinci Code with my top orf (see www.nicebutwrong.com for the exclusive pics!!!). I also noticed this small Welsh sprog wearing a garment which I only wish I could own and wear convincingly. Some things just aren't meant to be :(
After a little light reading and sunbathing, Lauren and I went off for a walk up the beach to see what we could find. I decided to be all big and manly with my cocky stride and my "HA! real men need no footwear" attitude which was, to be honest, a mistake. We were soon walking across large pointy rocks and my feet were taking the brunt of their pointy largeness. My difficulty in walking DOES makes me look hella cool in photos though.
We walked, we held hands, we picked up shells and did all those other putridly sweet couply things that couples do at the beach. Then I found a stranded jellyfish and it all went wrong. Lauren quotes "Finding Nemo" and dubs it "Squishy" whilst I embrace the inner 6-year-old-boy and look around for a stick to poke it with. Realising the only poking thing I had to hand (other than my hand) was my foot, I consulted my spider sense regarding the possibility of poking the jelly with my toe. My spider sense didn't flare up warning me of danger so I figured it MUST be safe (then again, my spider sense has never yet warned me of any danger leading me to the conclusion that I am, as the young people say, "SAFE.") but Lauren argued otherwise. Apparantly I was meant to be driving them all back to Swansea afterwards and bad things happen to your foot when you poke jellyfish. I guess we'll never know, because I did what all sensible men do and "listened to my girlfriend" and walked away sulking. Not before I took a picture of "Squishy" though. In retrospect, this was probably another sign of my deteriorating mental state.
We got back from the beach safely and had a lovely evening in (despite the France v England game). We ate, we drank and we made merry via the media of Bo Selecta, Big Brother and West Side Story. Hell, we even managed to slip in a spot of photography around sunset
It was a lot of fun and I miss the guys already. Wales was fab and their crazy language made the time there far more enjoyable as I made a tit of myself trying to pronounce their placenames. Meeting Nate, Sarah and Frank (the hamster) was awesome and I'm looking forward to seeing them again. Unfortunately they were not at the house when we set off for London so they escaped the glare of the camera... for now. However we managed a slightly tearful goodbye with Lee before we made a move. With any luck, we'll be seeing him soon anyway should things work out with him moving to London. A final pose and we were off.
This was going to be a lot bigger but as things stand, at 3.30 am, I think I'll finish off the story of my mental life tomorrow or wednesday.
So to keep you bastards happy:
NEXT TIME ON SCRAM'S BLOG
DREAMS!
THEATRE!
BALL PIN HAMMERS!
IMAGINARY RODENTS!
Until next time, take care of yourself. |
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Update!!! |
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posted by
Scrambled
9:06:04
5:30pm
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Oi
Just to let you know that I'm neither dead nor forgetting this blog.
This month has been a busy one for me full of exams, revision and foxes. I have my last exam tomorrow (Applications of Quantum Mechanics and Electrons in Solids - GETWIN!) and I can't wait. After that we head back to my family home and sit around looking innocent for a day until we steal the second car ninja style and drive off for a weekend in sunny Swansea with colonel, Dibbie and Che. Photographs will be taken, drink will be drunk, fun shall be had.
Brief update on other things:
Lauren has moved in with me and things are going great. Being together is so easy and I've never been so happy. She's been a great influence on me over the past few weeks when revision has become a depressing and stressing factor in my life. I'm a very lucky guy and I have a great roommate :).
Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to catch up with Dan, aka FMHS for a day of sunny fun in London. We had a picnic in Hyde Park and then toured around London to show Lauren some of the sights. Dan was kind enough to point out that Kensington Palace was actually Wayne Manor and that Cleopatra's Needle was a space laser. He's so smart :).
In other news, I love ebay. It can have my ebabies.
After watching Jurassic Park, I felt compelled to read the book again and spent about a week looking through my old boxes in my attic and then some second hand bookshops to find it. With no luck there, Lauren suggested I check ebay. That was a few days ago and I only just won a bid for the book. But that wasn't the point, here. I had opened up a very dangerous door to an even more dangerous place. I've spent almost £100 over the last few days but I don't regret it. I managed to grab a 128Mb memory stick for £25 inc p&p and front row tickets to see Les Mis next Wednesday for £65. I can't wait. Rest assured that pictures and a review of the show will be posted up here next week.
In the meantime, wish me luck on my last exam! |
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Outfoxed at last! |
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posted by
Scrambled
3:05:04
9:16pm
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Today has almost certainly been one of the best days of my life. For almost a year now I have been waiting to meet the most amazing woman in the world and today it finally happened. For those who don't know, I met Lauren (Foxy) on the forums last year and we've been crazy about each other since soon after first talking to each other. With her living in Canada and me in England, it's been hard work, and we've only really forged a "relationship" in the last few months. We've been head over heels in love for a long time now.
As I said, it's been tough, but now she is finally here and I am so incredibly happy. I didn't get to see her at the airport but we planned to spend the day together today. As anyone who was unfortunate enough to speak to me last night on IRC, you will know how nervous I was about seeing her today. So many questions ran through my mind - "What if she doesn't like me in person? What if I say something stupid? What happens if neither of us have anything to say." After the longest possible (in my head) journey to Waterloo station, my heart was racing and I was feeling totally worried. I stood by the platform looking for a flash of red hair and didn't see one.
And then I saw her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her walking towards me and all of my fears vanish in an instant. We smile, we hold each other and everything is suddenly perfect. It was like something out of a dream.
Not dissuaded by the typical London weather (rain), we head out for coffee, a visit to the Saatchi gallery and then some sushi. We had such a fun and happy time and talked so much. After that, we visited Westminster Abbey and saw Trafalgar Square, The Houses of Parliament and 10 Downing St. (the last of which was of no significance to her as she didn't know who lived there! I had fun reminding her that she studies politics and international relations ;)). We walked around the theatres and Covent Garden before heading to Leicester Sq. to try and catch a movie - unfortunately the staff at the Odeon were being awkward so we left, caught a bus, and went to a small cinema in Fulham to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was good but the company was better. :)
I took her back to the station and we took a couple of pictures before a long goodbye. That was less than two hours ago and I miss her already!
It genuinely amazed me how comfortable and happy we were with each other. We were comfortable and happy even when we weren't talking and we just felt so right together. We hardly stopped smiling and, oh god, it was all just so perfect. I love this woman with all my heart and I am counting the seconds until I am with her again (around 691,000 unfortunately as she visits France for a week tomorrow!).
Today has been one of the best days of my life, one I will never forget.
My perfect woman is finally here.
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Random Link: |
Nebulus
Flash verion of fantastic C64 game |
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